Get Married??? I Will,,, Just Not For Now
I got this question since I graduated from University in 2006. My Mum started this out. Since 2007, she went to Dubai for work. Since then, she always ask the same question, "Do you have a boyfriend, yet?" or made a statement like "When I come home, I want you to have a future husband so I can see your wedding."
At first, I try to ignored it by answered, "Later, Mum. I must finish my college first." But she kept asking and asking and asking again. Great,,, Kinda frustrating, but I chose to consider that as a pray for me. I'm not the kind of girl in a rush to get married and have kids. Not this fast.
I always thought that marriage is a journey. Journey to know your spouse, the dreams that both of you have, and the process to make all of your dreams come true. It's a neverending journey. If you think by getting married it means that you already reach the end of the journey, I respectfully disagree. Every day is a new day and you will having a new experience with your family. Maybe you must compromise a few things with your spouse, learn a new thing from them, and accept it as a part of your life. That is what I see from marriage in my family. Learning process everyday, that's my Grandma once told me (she's been married to Grandpa for 50 years this July 
).
If you ask me now, are you want to get married, I definitely say yes. But when? That's the other problem. Few reasons why I choose not to get married too soon:
1. I spent 6 years in college to get Diploma 3 in Broadcast and Bachelor in Mass Communication. I think I deserve to build my career first. Some comments I receive like "Remember your age,,, In 5 years you'll reach 30." Ladies and gentleman, the world won't come to an end if I'm not married soon. Period.
2. People keep asking and comments about my status makes me feel like they violate my privacy. Both from family and friends. I felt insecure and afraid to make a decision. Marriage, for me, should be once in a lifetime. Needs total commitment to spend your life with that one person. I won't make a decision based on "I must married before 30" or "I'm afraid to be alone" or "I just want to have lots of children while I can". Those thinking not wrong, with all due respect, but for me it's not appropriate. Marriage should build on a stronger foundation, like do we have a same vision, beyond having children or age problem. But that's just me 
.
3. My Mum's failure in marriage has effected me for years. If you asked me 3 years ago the same question, I will say BIG NO! If my parents separate after 10 years of marriage, what about me. Thank God, I passed those 'dark' moments. With help from my closest friends, not to mention my family, I was able to get rid of those thinking. But makes me think and plan carefully about my future.
4. I haven't found a person who shares same vision with me. "How about Mr. Frog?" some of you may asked. FYI, our relationship has reach 2 months. Both of us still have lots to learn from each other, knowing our characters, our thinking, and also our vision. For now, we never mention further to marriage. We just live our lives together. Time will tell whether we have same vision or not (hopefully we have hehehe).
I don't want to be a hypocrite person. I do want to have someone I can trust. Someone can guide me. Someone that I see first when I wake up and the last I see before I sleep. I believe I will get there. Just have a little faith in me and support me to do what I want right now. To fulfill all my dreams right now. I will get there... To be a host of a wedding reception and not a guest in my own wedding hehehe.
